Really!!! Isn't it considered rude to answer a question with a question, I thought to myself as I looked the 'Professional Genealogist' in the eye and said....
"I think I am the 17th Great Granddaughter of the Queen of Scotland."
Her pupils dilated, she bit her lip and her eye began twitching as she replied, "Uh huh, and I am descended from a Pope".
OMG!!! She thinks I'm some kind of nut job, I thought as my heart raced and my left eye twitched. I bit my lip, furled my eyebrows, peered over the rims of my specs, and retorted...
"When Pigs Fly".
Another gale of laughter and uncontrollable flow of tears streamed down both of our faces, as I took the tissue, dabbed my eyes and handed her the photo of my Great Great Grandfather Rene. "I thought his given name Rene was unusual for a man from the deep South and after ruling out his paternal namesakes, I found another Rene on his mother's side of the family. He was named after his mothers grandfather".
After sharing the rest of my confirmed research which ended at Plymouth Rock, I left the 'ProGenealogist' a 'cheek swab' and a down payment toward the search and confirmation of my 'Queen Genes'.
Two weeks later a package arrived with this book and accompanying note....
Genealogicus Vulgaris Disease...A chronic mental disorder usually contracted in mid and late adulthood, though occasionally found in teenagers. Disorder is characterized by a strong desire to conclusively identify every member of a family.
Sufferers enjoy reading obituary columns and frequent trips to cemeteries. Physical symptoms include: an involuntary twitch when the word "ahnentafel"* is mentioned in casual conversation, dilated pupils and increased heart rate when passing local libraries or state archives, sweaty palms in the presence of a microfiche.
Only known cure is death, which must be proven with the appropriate certificate.
*ahnentafel...genealogical numbering system for listing a person's direct ancestors in a fixed sequence of ascent. Wikipedia link.