4/14/15

AtoZ Letter L~Lovely Long Locks...Not Likely!


Three out of the five of us were blessed with our Mothers full, thick, coarse and lovely head of hair.  Two of us inherited our father's half, thin, fine, male pattern baldness receding hairline, sideburns, uni-brow and facial hair.  It looked fine on my brother...he's a guy.

Not so much on ME!!!!

The Uni-brow was plucked away at age 13....right after the shaving of hairy legs and arm pits. 

Thank God for female hormones that prevented the inheritance of Dad's hairy chest.  More there than on his head.  Worked fine for my brother...he's a guy.

What genetic goof up causes hair follicles to sprout in all the wrong places? 

As you may have guessed, my hair issues have been around since, well...since the beginning.  Yep, I was born with a full head of long, baby fine, straight as string cat hair. 

Over the years my mother bobbed, permed, spit, braided, gooed, and cried over her first borns pitiful Pittman hair.  I was, after all, my fathers fault.

The second born was our fathers fault, too.  He was as bald as I was hairy.  When he reached his teens, his Uni-Brow was fully furrowed and his receding hair line was right in style with 77 Sunset Strip Star Kookie...aka Ed Byrnes.  Again...worked for him...not so much for me.

What did work for me was tweezers, rat tail combs, Aqua Net, Dippity Do, Lilt Perms, upperlip depilatory and the 1960's BIG HAIR-DO!  Who would have guessed that purposefully tangling, packing and frizzing one's hair would be the answer to looking like a Brunette Dolly Parton...from the neck up...paternal genes, again!  You won't be surprised to learn that all that 'Hair Care' eventually led me to a 'Hair Calling'.  I'll fill you in on the Letter 'O's post....'Operator'~It's A Comb Not a Wand!

By the time child number three came along the Pitiful Pittman Hair curse must have been broken.  My sister got all the right stuff for a lifetime of long, lovely locks.  I referenced her perfect pigtails and full bangs in Letter B's post...Bathing Beauty Bombs.

While her 'Maternal Folicles' grew and grew, mine didn't.  I had Long Length Folicle Failure'.  One hundred brush strokes a day will make your hair shine and stimulate growth.  Ha! That's bunk!  I lost chunks! 

I could go on and on with quips about extra body and volume shampoos that didn't work on my hair or my body.  Even though #3 child didn't need it for her hair, she used it anyway.  She got the extra body all right...on her thighs. 

She didn't heed the Do Not Use in the Shower warning!   I suggested she use Dawn on her long locks, thighs and legs.  It's label clearly states "dissolves fat that is otherwise difficult to remove." She threw her hairless brush at me.  I ducked...brother didn't...funny thing...after all those hundred strokes it never shined my hair like it shined his eye.

Three Blessed Heads on the left.  Two Not Likely Heads on the right.

13 comments:

  1. I have really dark hair and translucent almost transparently pale skin - I feel your hair pain, just for different reasons :)
    Tasha
    Tasha's Thinkings | Wittegen Press | FB3X (AC)

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    1. Bless your heart, girl...I hope you kept those locks under a big brimmed hat to protect that lovely skin from the sun. You and Scarlet O'Hara...I should have...always had on a big ole hat...do now...dermatologist said so!

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  2. I'm sure the makers of Dippity Do were able to retire early thanks to me. As for the family photo, I do think you all could have your own reality tv show.

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    1. I always thought my contributions to Dippity Do put them over the top. Wow, TV reality show!!! We could've tried out for the Beverly Hillbillies if they had been from Texas. I actually was on a TV Reality Game Show...Almost Anything Goes. Eureeka...next years Theme!!!!

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  3. I think you are exaggerating your hair challenge, but this is a great post. My mother had lovely naturally wavy hair. I inherited a bit of wave - just enough to tend to stick out everywhere. We all have our fate to live with.

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    1. Oh for just a hint of a wave that wasn't finger pressed, result of a perm, or dirty lake water. May I suggest Aqua Net for the sticking out problem.

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  4. My clearest hair memory was when my Mom permed my hair regularly whether it needed it or not. She used to pull it up into one huge fluffy ponytail!! The 100 brush strokes never worked for me either.
    Ann

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    1. Yup, a regular supply of Toni's and Lilt's were stacked in the bathroom closet at our house. I see that happening at your house, too...all you sisters. Never was a perm that could make my pony tail fluffy...best it ever did was what we called a DoDo Roll. Whaaaaa!!!

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  5. Hi Sue .. I hardly dare talk hair .. it's always been very thin and wouldn't grow much ... my mother cut mine often - but no difference .. short hair was fine when I was playing squash all the time .. but now I too am receding and it's thin .. and and and .. c'est la vie!! I hate putting things on my head too .. hats or scarves or .. or ... or ...

    I definitely have way less than you do .. cheers Hilary

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    1. It's okay Hilary.....you can dare to talk hair here....together we probably invented and internationalized 'Bad Hair Day'. My mother sometimes made me wear a SCARF....omg...I was the poster child for 'Bad Hair Day'.

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  6. Menopause made my hair fall out. That's who I'm blaming. About 5 years ago, I shaved all my hair off --as a competition with the Husband who also shaved his -- and what do ya know, as my hair grew back, it wasn't falling out as much as it was before. Maybe I just had to start anew.
    The View from the Top of the Ladder
    Take 25 to Hollister

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    1. Men-o-pause...boy, is that a mis-gendered infliction. All it did for my hair was drench it with night sweats. As if it needed another infliction. Really, it grew back better than before after shaving your head. Hadn't considered that....that's pretty extreme...I think I'll get a perm...naw...I'll just wear it straight as string ect. ect.

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  7. I'd fogotten about Dippty Doo! My mother used jars and jars of that stuff on my hair. She still teases her hair when she styles it.

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